Monday, September 19, 2011

excuse; no excuse

I'm pretty good at rationalizing, of turning an insult into a compliment. Of setting a positive spin on what is a dismal forecast. This morning, however, I pushed myself out of bed after a half an hour of worry lying prone with my hand on Mr Lee's head. I kept thinking about his ordeal tomorrow, teeth cleaning and extractions - how many extractions are not known. It's been 8 months since Mr Lee has lived with me and I should have taken him earlier - but then he has had time to grow stronger and familiar with me and with this hollow. I've no excuse, just magical thinking - even though I recognized that he has a difficult time chewing kibbles and dog bones (he hides chew bones around the house). His breath has improved!
Speaking of excuses, I was raised with "no excuse." I always kept a project deadline at school; the dog never ate my homework. I figured my self worth hung on my reliability. I'm rarely late. It made me wild to hear my former partner's excuses for everything, from forgetting to take out the garbage to failing to recall the name of the person who called for me. I couldn't seem to persuade him that his excuses were an avoidance of taking responsibility of his actions, for his LIFE!

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