the North Fund

My assignment is to find a picture to send Lexi at the Community Foundation which represents the North Fund. I am blank. So I am looking thru my pictures for something which might trap my imagination! With "Heavy Boots" and P.
or maybe this:

 Mostly the fund is my attempt to try to lighten the difficult load that single moms have, especially minority low income moms or fathers. This year we were able to help fund grants to the Hensel Eckman YMCA, It's All About Jesus Ministries Outreach and Help Center, Montgomery-Floyd Regional Library, Planned Parenthood Health Systems, and the Women's Resource Center! I do feel good being able to help, especially agencies which helped me when I was a single mom such at Planned Parenthood. I don't know much about the YMCA in Pulaski, but the grant is for their low to moderate income child care assistance program. I suspect that my cousin Emmy who no doubt occasionally prays for me (being her pagan cousin) influenced my choice in helping the All About Jesus ministries - they help lots of folk in Radford! The library was seeking a grant for their oral history projects. I really must credit my grandmothers and my mother for enabling me to give to my community.

Winter duty

On a rare occasion I sit on the floor of my room, my library/work room and randomly pull out old note books and files in the search of an old poem. Trouble is it always leads to reading and to remembering. I found what I was looking for today, a poem for Wick. I found other pieces and I threw away some stuff, not enough. I hate to think of dying with this mess. But I tend to ignore the shelves; I persuade myself to leave them alone. I'm not happy with that. This winter! ha! This winter cleaning out these old notebooks will be my main duty. I can take one notebook at a time and burn pages I don't want to keep. Fire up the wood stove to consume the past no one else needs to see.
I mailed a check to the Louisiana SPCA in memory of Wick; I've yet to write Philip - I know he doesn't even know of my blog and I am not sure of his email. It is important, I think, to note what death of a friend prompts in us. I will make a giant effort to sort through my writing!
I think the difficult part is having to go over my life again as if I haven't sufficiently rehashed the happenings and non-happenings. Of course, I have not sufficiently learned from my life, and in reading some of the poems, I find myself crying. I have to go slow. Sometimes I laugh. And there is occasion to celebrate a well said piece I had forgotten.Here's one:

Transmutation

Thursday morning and I think the forging process is damping down
I am a newly minted woman
an advertisement for reticence
last night I was the Hindenburg big and hot in the sky
the fire in my crotch dangerous but necessary to flight
the Earth below looked suffocating and cold
I couldn't see New York
but something told me I was there walking inside a bald man
who had flirted with my soul. 


 

Dear Philip

I started a note to Susan, but couldn't seem to write anything that didn't sound trite and worthless. But what would have "value" and what hasn't been said to someone grieving? And I only met her that one time at the 40th reunion. 
So I'm writing you because I know you have lost a dear close friend. And I am terribly sad to think of what a great loss this is.
I know why I loved Wick, it was no doubt selfish.  I loved being in his presence; I loved myself in his presence. He made me laugh, deep laugh. And I valued the rare times I did spend with him. I am sad up here in the mountains of Virginia, pretty far away. I am sad for you and for Susan and for his sister Mary and for all the nephews and nieces and other friends. 
I hope you are well as can be and that you will be inspired to paint or to write or to run marathons - or whatever. 
And, Philip, would he really want us to send donations to the Louisiana SPCA?

 
 

oh, joy, O

I don't know that I really care to know the psychology of being brought to tears of pure joy, for it is just too wonderful and rare a happening that I am happy to savor the occasion and leave it alone. I remember being delighted, even clapping, dancing and screaming at the television when Bill Clinton was elected ("Let's Keep Thinking about Tomorrow"), but it was not the same deep joy I felt when Obama won. Chills and awe.
Election Day here in Southwest Virginia was cold; I know it could have been worse; no snow, no rain. But standing outside handing out sample ballots and making chit chat with the Repubican standing across from me for two hours was only redeemed by discovering Virginia BLUE late that evening. The 6-8 AM shift was the hardest and longest. By 6 PM, I was at the library with a mind numbed by the sight of voters of every size, shape and height. Privy to a vignette: two young Mexican Americans taking pictures of each other in front of an Obama/Biden sign - I figure it was their first time voting! I drove home after collecting yard signs with Bruce Springsteen, "We take care of our own" playing over and over.

Long hot Epsom salt bath before dinner. I fell asleep by 10 PM waking with a jolt at 2 AM and reached for my Nook to check the news. Oh, Joy, we won! And Tim Kaine won.

poll

First words to come into my head as I hung up the phone were, "diabolical pleasure!" The phone call was a short poll; I thought that they had said of three questions. Yet the call abruptly ended after I answered the first question which was a rather long paraphrase of words from Billy Graham, asking if I supported Billy's desire to keep America's family oriented marriage between a man and a woman, etc. I gleefully hit #2 for NO. 
Early morning duties so that Alma and I could attend the Democratic rally at the Government Center. Then to phone bank for a couple of hours and to pick up yard signs and sample ballots. Dear Terry Ellen filled in my last slot on my schedule of poll greeters for election day (well, except that I have a rather loose line up for Pilot). Many folk are up in Roanoke to hear Former President Bill Clinton tonight, almost went. Monday, I think, we are due to have VP Biden in Blacksburg - no one knows the location. 


Pearl meets cousin Sofia! Maybe by next year I can see my two grand daughters together here - Pearl can introduce Fia to the river.

 

"holding my breath and praying for our President!"

Quote from David von Drehle who has written a new biography of Abe Lincoln (adding to the 1600+) and was interviewed by Diane Rehm this morning. A divided America, much as it is today, the author points out - I so wish it were not so. It as if the country and world were set on following the fundamentalists back into feudalism, or some form of paternalistic government. 

On the lighter side, Winder "Cappy" Lyons just caught me online on Skype and it was delightful to touch base after 20 years. The connection was too poor for Cappy to play a song - but he has sent an album. I have to email him a scan of the photograph i've had stuck in a corner of the medicine cabinet up stairs, I'll post it here too! (winter dress in New Orleans: gloves, socks, a sweater - but shorts!")