Well, I'm thinking of expanding the line of greeting cards; back Valentines are fairly tame. The darkness in my soul runs deeper I suspect; in my older days I've become a proponent of Death Panels - real death panels, please. I've always been a fan of NARAL and believe without legalized abortion, too many mother's die prematurely. Now I am wondering if coddling the ill with flowers and balloons is not raising the level of denial - might we dare be more realistic? Hey, statistics seem to agree that if you stay in the hospital long enough, the hospital will kill you by mistake. And then there is the large group of folk who just linger too long; wouldn't it be preferable to chant: die, die, die. Besides there is the fact that the largest costs to Medicare are accumulated in the last days of life. This would give the real warriors something to fight against - and those whose time is apt, the courage to relax and say good-bye. How refreshing to reject the sappy post and to just with a smirk say: "Get out of bed or I'll strangle you." This was my mother's attitude, albeit masked, when I was sick in high school; I only missed one day of school - not ever wanting to be around her nasty attitude which shouted, "this is such an imposition on my time to have to take care of you!" Well, only one day home sick, there were other days my friend Sharon and I went to a movie instead. It's a bummer to be sick - any way to get a laugh on, to drag out of the nausea, the ache, the fever, the pain - is an avenue for the body to heal. I am no doubt in a mood today prompted by what? Fear of what suffering I may have to suffer before getting out of body? Fear I'll be a pain or mental strain to my family? Wanting less suffering in the world and feeling inept at changing any of it! And sorry I am such a bitchy nurse!
We like your rant- though we aren't sure that we can give a full endorsement (ya know, cuz we are hopeful young parents and try to stay positive and not think about illness or aging too much...ha ha!) But still- like your manifesto. Seems like being free of your former family obligations (ahem, your dad) might be a liberating thing for your writing. We're waiting to read your upcoming memoir.
ReplyDeleteYay!! Another vote for the memoir :) Being sick sucks! However, there is a cleanse and peace from it whether it be a detox, time spent reading, or death.
ReplyDeleteI dread visiting my mother who spends her days watching old movies on TV and ancient reruns...when I visit her she always tells me how she wishes she were dead, why is she still here, on and on in this vein...it is deeply hurtful to listen to this when she is in WAY better health than most elderly especially those her age - 89... I always think...damnit, why can't she die if she wants too? why not? At that age one should have a choice before the dreaded nursing home scenario...
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