In an attempt at festive air, I am planning on painting my toenails while peering at Times Square, if I do stay up that late - or can't sleep due to this noxious head cold. I can't believe that while miserably choking on the least tickle in my throat, I decided to read The Virgin Suicides. I am not at all sure of Eugenides' purpose, but I can't help but think that in his great exaggeration of a family's propensity for suicide, that he wasn't exposing the sorry waste such early deaths are and the inadequate ability peers have to help change events. Being one awfully acquainted with the subject, I don't quite buy the anniversary suicides of the four remaining sisters. I can't believe that at least one wouldn't have like myself wanted to get the hell out of town - and have succeeded. Thus I have enjoyed this last day of 2011, conscious of my past and looking forward to beginning a new year with the promise of new family members! Apropos of nothing in particular, I am posting this photo of my mother at age 14 (perhaps inspired by the book - for she also was schooled in suicide).
Not sure if the tiny bird hit the glass door to the deck or not, but it lay on the deck, looking dead until I picked the fluff of little weight up. It perked up after a bit of Arnica, but has not taken off and sits at the bottom of a bucket in pine nest. Such an icy wind out that I think I will let him/her spend the night inside - plan to hang the bucket from Bilbo's old hook so Katrina can't bother. So far Katrina has no idea that the bird is in the house. I'll have to figure out a top so titmouse doesn't end up on the floor in the night and meet up with roving cat.
4:30 titmouse perched on edge of bucket, then flew up to perch on candle holder when I went to ease the bucket outside. I was able to let him out on the edge of the candle holder. Now fluffed up, titmouse sits on a branch of the red bud.
Was I like the weather? Ice becoming easy
like crossing legs
turning away
separate beds; rain
a kind of dance that didn't include you.
Flakes of snow, a tease
kept you looking
for grace until you got smart
left for sun,
tried not to look back.
Sitting here with the best mug of coffee ever! Got a bag of roasted chicory and a bag of Fair Trade coffee beans (Mexican) in my stocking - now waiting to be inspired before bundling up to drive to Qigong. Have two hand made leather books (fortunately small) to fill with poems - have an assignment for 2012. Such a wonderful Christmas with local lamb chops for dinner (scalloped potatoes and roasted eggplant and pomegranate/avocado/blue cheese decorated salad) and the very fantastic pecan pie Baldwin made.
How does the Christmas tree manage its demise
never many gifts beneath its spindly limbs
but today apparently my eyes
to blame, the tree inspires
plans for de-materialization.
Not the same.
Some things are meant to be, for they happen effortlessly. Sitting snug at one of the larger double tables in the back room of the Buffalo and More yesterday noon, I just felt like beaming. What a fine group of women and we do Qigong and we're eating bison and laughing. Happiness is easy, maybe it is doing Qigong that helps. It sure helps us move. Who knew at 66, I'd be most happy leading a group of other women in Qigong.
Of course, happiness explodes when grand-daughter comes bouncing curls into the house. Being grandmother comes easy too - and so much lighter than mothering. Not the hours, not the worry.
Then there is Mr. Lee, who bounded into the hollar December of last year; I certainly hadn't imagined my heart flying out in 12 pounds of corded white fluff.
Happiness just be in the bones!
Nothing to do but try to share it, donate it, spew it into the atmosphere. Know you lucky when you got it.
Sun too fine to miss as the days shrink towards winter solstice. Mr Lee and I walked toward the swim hole, turning back for a sit before the wide mud hole that prompted bath last week. Can't hold onto a thought with the current of the river swift near our feet. Gladly no thought. Grateful no thought! There is more than enough time for that in the house under a roof.
With no thinking going on, I guess it is absurd to be here; guess I figured the space would prompt . I do have a notion that was inspired by my brother's email photo of his family's Christmas tree in Colorado, which is to scan in pictures from an album that I brought home from Ocean Springs - photographs, I think he might want. Since he took a fall on skis over Thanksgiving, I suspect he is not doing much skiing this trip.
This is my first horse client! I have never met him in person and I did not receive this photo until AFTER I treated him via telephone (he lives 100 miles away). Blue had an unfortunate habit of shying from the least prompt and trying to run off. It was a sudden alarm response, no warning to the rider. After considering the case, asking a few more questions, I suggested Belladonna. It worked wonderfully for Blue. Years later this same horse lover called about another horse. This case was a bit more complicated; but by the second phone consultation, I knew the remedy and mailed a dose. This mare was "hormonial" and posing ("squirting") for the male horses in the pasture. The remedy worked and this horse who was uncontrollable is now riding the hunt. Recently I helped with a third horse, a handsome large fellow who has won just about every prize possible in the ring. But is now retired and had developed ulcers and edema of all legs; it was a frightening issue and the vet had been unable to help. I considered an end of life remedy of incredible breath, and the horse is now doing very well with years ahead of him!
These horses were not cured by placebo. Homeopathy works. I am no horse person; I do not own a horse. When a twelve year old at summer camp, I took riding only to slide down the neck of the horse when the horse decide to chomp on grass by the side of the rink. I did not see nor touch any of these horses. I have never met their owners! It is very satisfying to see how powerful homeopathy is.
Up into the 60's today and I spread another bale of peat moss on each of my raised beds and then planted 12 tulip bulbs in each! I figure it will take the moles a long time to dig under the frames of the beds and for the voles to follow. I'm hoping for never; but I know that is like hoping for no morning glories in the new beds. Usually if I plant tulips, they are eaten before they bloom - even if I wait until January to plant the bulbs! I'm fortunate to get one or two flowers.
The raised beds look so fine, I look forward to early lettuce and greens, to not having to wait for tilling before planting, to onions and peas! I will take pictures tomorrow.
Early morning picture of the beds with Mah
oney and his chicks happy in the like spring December morning. Granddaughter went with me to Qigong this morning and spun around in the circle of us until I too was dizzy. After class we went to Krogers and scored a red helium balloon. We found apple cinnamon tea and pomegranates.
Mr Lee and I just returned from a walk about Red Bud with some lines:
Given the choice of road or grass, I'll stick with the deer path.
what a gift of a day with a surprise when we reached the saddle: stone stacks in the field by a small oasis of trees. Similar, I think, to seeing horses in a field; these stacks of stones fasten my eye to a repose. While horses lend a grace, they add potential motion; stone cairns make me pause and send me deep. Just want to sit with the day, with the sky, with the field. Mr. Lee sits too. He pants, I breathe.
There is no doubt in my mind that it is insanity to allow oneself to be sucked up into the atmosphere of it all, commonly called Christmas. Isn't it a bipolar high to buy more things than one needs? But we are encouraged on all fronts because it is supporting local economy, it is good for the larger economy. And I am a vulnerable grandmother who has realized that this will be my grandchild's first Christmas to become enchanted and bewitched into the celebrated madness. What am I doing by enticing her into this crazy occasion? Her parents are holdouts who refuse to have a tree. Smart. I succumb to the tree because I live in the hollow whence darkness comes by 4 o'clock in December. How now to temper the everywhere enticements? How do I not respond to the request out of the mouth of 3 year old, "I want a tea kettle for my kitchen."
So I went looking for a tea kettle yesterday. Did you know that Wal-Mart has stopped selling tea kettles - the old fashion ones that go on a burner? Needless to say they didn't have tea kettles for kid's kitchens. But on my roll down the ails my eye caught the sight of a doll high on the top shelf, an African American doll. Do you know how rare a find of this sort is where I live? She's beautiful. I bought her. Now I don't know what to do with her so I have hid her in the upstairs closet. I came home to a message that the kid garden tools had arrived at Cambria Toy Station; these were the original ONE Christmas present (except for stocking presents) that we had decided ruled our Christmas giving. Fortunately for nanee, the stockings are ample. But I have to admit that I have hid another present that I'd bought months ago: a set of kitchen furnishings for the doll house. Now I'm really up the creek,or tree - what to do????
This is a luxury dilemma; there are oodles of grand parents who can't afford one gift for their grand child. But I've given to the Salvation Army, to the United Way; I sent cards from the Women's Resource Center to my friends that a donation had been made in their names. I've spent way more money on donations in Africa for water, goats and school supplies. But this doesn't solve the American ethical dilemma of how much to spoil a child? GRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!
I thought I was a fair conversationalist, but grand-daughter has me beat. "Why?" Because I exhaust my repertoire of responses by 8 PM and fall asleep before the wee head drops to the pillow. I am mentally weary. How boring life becomes living alone and undemanding. "Why?" Because chickens don't require imagination in the least and even Katrina and Mr. Lee are fairly easy to please. "Why?" Because it seems that humans distinguish themselves by wanting attention. "Why?" Because I think, humans seem insecure about their being in the world. "Why?" I don't know. "Why?" What do you think?
For a wonderful video on WHY, go to granddaughter's family blog:
artfromthelostplanet.blogspot.com
Of course, I am disappointed that we in Riner have missed any sign of snow this morning. But the part of me that needs to drive to Qigong this morning is elated, hoping that Blacksburg also missed the fluff or possible ice because I've scheduled a guest for class. Friend Ann who studies with a different Qigong teacher in Blacksburg is coming to demonstrate some new techniques. Alma is bringing snickerdoodles!
Such rain for two days has swollen the creek which is now backed up all the way to my spring turning the water a muddy hue I dare not drink. Water from Blue house well has me covered and I will begin boiling my water when the color clears for several days. I am so accustomed to the life form in my water that it doesn't seem to disturb my health. I hadn't expected such rain and forgot to save water in preparation. The river was tumultuous yesterday, yet Baldwin's cairns have all survived. I carried Mr Lee across the creek twice and then he managed quite well the next two creek crossing on the way to the bottoms. He's a strong little dog!
Working on my folders for the blog - this will be an endless project for this winter which may bring snow at some point. And for half of January and all but leap day of February, I will have time on my hands with the Blue house on vacation.
I'm so impressed with my blog's new look, gift from Mindy and Baldwin, that I am slightly intimidated and thinking about a new camera and generally dumbfounded. So I am beginning with a picture of my tree of lights which does much to raise my spirits in this darkest period of the year.
Rain began last night, light rain meeting us as we exited Chris house after a wonderful evening celebrating birthdays. When I lay in bed last night I had images of babies loose in the back of cars - we who raised our kids without car seats or husbands who might make an effort to share the overwhelming job. I can only vaguely imagine Pat's or Elizabeth's lives with four babies under the age of five! As Pat said, her oldest learned how to count by counting diapers for the twins!
Whatever element, planet or person marks me, I do not know, but I have been busy with new homeopathic clients of late. Most wonderful to hear that a horse in Charlottesville is doing well after a remedy; unfortunately the remedy was given after the owner took a terrible fall. The mare had a striking manner of posing for other horses in the field; she was "over sexed" and had been treated with hormones which did nothing to stop her aggressive behavior. A dose of Platina turned her around and her new owner now rides her in the hunt.
Have an appointment this evening and one tomorrow. Yesterday a smiling delightful infant who you would never guess had an ear ache; mr lee was in on the consult!
I now have four raised beds Baldwin assembled in the garden yesterday. I have been hauling pine needles from the woods and leaves, straw with goat pellets from old chicken house and a bale of peat moss for each. Will give me something to work on as long as the weather permits this December - and I can plant my tulip bulbs safely away from the moles!
